I’m 52 years old. Its a couple of days before the new year. My parents are visiting (Mom, 82 and Dad, 85). I’m divorced, with 3 kids and an ex-husband whom I admire and feel great affection for -still – five years after we split up and four years after our official divorce.

I should be happy; or – if we want to get real – at least accept that I have it better than at least 80% (totally random guess) of divorced couples out there.

But I’m not.

Most of the days I don’t see my kids I am working or laying about my house, drinking or watching TV. I was in a relationship for four years after my husband and I split – he was a good guy; but we weren’t really compatible, rather, we were good drinking buddies(i.e we drank together and propped each other up, but didn’t really force either one of us to face our demons). I finally broke up with him this year, two weeks before Christmas. Such a dick move.

I’m determined to actually face my demons and grow up (aside: funny; i’m 52 – shouldn’t I already be grown up?).